


Dirt Cowboy

by princessofpower



Category: Smosh
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-13 04:16:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7962073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessofpower/pseuds/princessofpower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a dark story featuring depictions of sexual abuse. Billy copes with losing his superpowers because of rape. Paulie and Stevie are good friends.<br/>Based on the Smosh Comics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the Blur

"Hey, Billy. Where've you been?." Paulie raised an eyebrow at his friend as he approached his locker. It wasn't like Billy to avoid him and Stevie like he seems to have been recently. He was only met with a barely acknowledging grunt. Billy kept his eyes on the ground as he lazily let his back fall against the metal lockers.

"…At home." He shrugged, finally answering. Though still not looking at either of his friends.

"Why's that?" Stevie questioned.

"Hmm? Oh. My brother thinks I spend too much time at your place, Stevie." Billy lived only with his older brother, Brent. He'd convinced him to move out with him years ago, and at the time it seemed awesome. At this point his parents didn't even want him back, and a rules-free teen party house had grown disenchanting. This was why Billy mostly chose to spend the night at Stevie's in the V-Cave. He was still a little brother, though. No matter how independent he acted, he still craved approval from his big brother. He still wanted to be liked and cared about. "He said it wasn't healthy or something…" He went on, mumbling. "He' says it's gay to be spending the night with two guys all the time.."

"That's stupid. And anyways, who cares if somebodies gay?" Paulie asked, placing his hands on his hips.

Jeez, he was sure if Brent knew Paulie actually was gay, the taunting would be even worse. Billy shrugged his shoulders, finally deciding to look at his friends.

"You're brother is being ridiculous!" Stevie was probably right, honestly. Billy wasn't sure if Brent actually had a problem with it, or if he was simply trying to tease Billy. He did like doing that….

Just a few weeks ago Brent had had a few of his friends by the house. It was always so loud. He couldn't even concentrate on his homework. Another advantage to sleepovers with Paulie and Stevie. They had enough respect to be quiet. (Plus they'd help him out with the hard questions.) The echoing sounds of his brothers friends voices bounced off the walls and gave Billy a migraine. He rubbed his temples, deciding it was time to say something.

"Excuse me!" Billy announced himself in the living room, knocking on the doorway where he stood. "Would you mind keeping it down?" He was ignored. With a sigh, he walked closer to the group of guys, crowded around a laptop. "I'm trying to do homework!" He tried again. "Mind keeping it…"

He dropped his math book in shock as he caught a glimpse of what the guys were watching. It landed to the floor with a thud right as Billy slapped his hands over his eyes. They were watching a porn video. How could they watch porn together so casually!?

Their attention finally gained, two of Brent's friends turned to look at Billy, snickering at his reaction.

"It's just sex!"

"Like you don't watch this stuff? Come on…"

"I don't! It's gross!" Billy argued back.

"Eugh, look at that." Someone else commented. Instinctually, Billy glanced momentarily at the screen, but immediately turned and squeezed his eyes shut again. "Look. I'm just… I'm trying to do homework…" He stuttered out.

"You're brother's weird…" He was weird!? Who the hell watched porn with all of their buddies!? And Brent had the nerve to call into question what he did with his friends!? Speaking of…

"I know. I think he's a homo or something." Brent replied with a chuckle.

"Brent…" Billy looked at his brother. "You know I'm not. Why are you making fun of me in front of your friends?"

"Why are you acting like such a weenie?"

"I… It makes me uncomfortable…" He mumbled.

"Why? Cause it's a chick?" Someone asks.

"No!" Billy shouts, but his cheeks burn red. "I just don't like it! It's gross…!" He looks again to Brent, expecting some sort of support, but gets nothing. He just wants to get some work done. Is that so much to ask? Brent's probably embarrassed to be a good brother in front of his friends… Maybe if he just whispered it to him he'd get them to quiet down in a few minutes like it was his own idea or something. Averting his gaze from the computer screen, Billy went in to whisper to Brent but as he does a pair of hands grip his wrists. One friend pulls him while another one, seated on the back of the couch, pushes him over it and onto the sofa. Billy struggles to get back up, but he can barely comprehend what's happening around him, it's so fast.

Soon, he is upright on the couch, Brent and his three friends holding him in place. One grips an arm on either side of him, while the one on the back grabs fistfuls of Billy's hair, jerking his head up and pointing it forward at the computer screen.

"Come on Billy, don't be embarrassed. We all know you like this stuff."

"Just leave me alone, please…" He tries his best to turn his head away, but the hands holding him are too strong. Still, he keeps his eyes shut.

"Look!" The one holding his head demands, digging his long fingernails deep into the skin just next to either one of Billy's eyes. His eyes shoot open in shock. Afraid this guy will stick them right into his eyeballs if he doesn't obey, he keeps them like that.

Billy feels like he wants to vomit. Not just because he is now being forced to look at a disgusting and graphic close-up of a penis entering a mouth, but because his older brother merely sits by and laughs, allowing his friends to torture him.

"See? You like that?"

"No…"

"You're brother sucks."

Billy squirmed against the hold they had on him, but it wasn't much use. Especially considering he had to be mindful that one wrong move could mean his eye being gouged out. He did his best to ignore the inane comments coming from their mouths. He wouldn't let them get the satisfaction of a response. He was doing a pretty good job at it too until he heard;

"Look, he's hard." Billy's face burned red. Nothing could be more embarrassing than three older guys gawking and laughing at his awkward teenage boner. And his big brother wouldn't even do anything to help him. He felt a hard lump forming in his throat. He honestly wanted to cry, but held it in the best he could.

Lost in his own humiliation, the faces and the sounds seemed to swirl into a whirlwind around him. Everything became indistinguishable. He was only snapped back when he felt a hand come in-between his legs, grabbing his penis through his jeans. He recoiled, feeling disgusted. Disgusted this person was touching him. Disgusted with himself for being in this position. The disgust grew in the pit of his stomach. He felt like death. He shrieked out something incomprehensible, trying to break his arms free.

"I knew you would like it." A laugh. Only inches away from his face, Brent's friend Chase won't take his hand away. He can feel his hot breath on his skin. It was revolting. He let out a breathless whimper, his gross sobbing tears being set free as he did. They streamed down his face as he struggled to breath.

The hand makes rough circles on Billy's crotch. "Got hard imagining you were her, huh?" This earned a few chuckles, but Brent finally stands up, putting a hand on Chase's shoulder.

"Okay, that's enough. He's actually upset."

As soon as he's free, Billy rushes to his bedroom and locks the door. Just wanting to collect himself. Make sense of what just happened. If that's possible. He breaths deeply, shaken to the core. Mostly he feels complete and utter humiliation. Again, he feels like he needs to puke. He paces the room. Breath shaky. He doesn't want to be in these jeans anymore. He'd liked them too, but after he touched them… He can't wear them. He unbuttons them and tears them off as fast as he can, tossing them into the hamper. He substitutes some pyjama pants.

It all seemed like a blur now, though at the time the groping felt endless. It was like he remembered it as a movie, more then an event that happened. In his memory, he can see himself struggling as he's touched. His mouth open like it's screaming, though he can't remember if he really did scream…

He shook his head. The only thing to do was forget about it and move on. And he did. For a few weeks everything went back to normal. It was only today that things would get worse.


	2. Escalation

"…. So I think we should start that project tonight." Paulie lisped through his braces, taking another bite of his tuna fish and pickles sandwich.

"No, I can't." Billy replied, poking at his own lunch with his fork. "I'm sleeping at home again tonight."

"Again?" Stevie whined. Disappointed, he leaned an elbow on the table, causing the cheap white plastic furniture to tilt entirely towards him. "Why? No offence Billy, but you're brother's kind of a douche."

"No he isn't. He's cool." Billy argued. "His friends are douches."

"No kidding." Paulie agreed. "They've got problems. Eli told me when they were like, 12, he used to be friends with some of them. One day, one of them sprayed hairspray on his shirt and lit it on fire while he was still wearing it."

"That is messed up…. They make fun of me cause I don't watch porn."

"Really?"

"Pathetic." Paulie rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, but get this. They all watch it together. Like, isn't that strange?"

"Somewhat, yes. But I have heard of a phenomenon where sexually frustrated, non-homosexual adolescents will engage in sexual behaviour with their same sex friends such as mutual masturbation, describing sexual fantasies, practice kissing and such. So, perhaps it is only strange to us due to our celibacy."

"I don't know…" Stevie chimed in. "I've gotten pretty horny myself in the past, and I've never thought about touching myself in front of any of my friends…"

"I agree with Stevie. That kind of thing should be done by yourself, without anyone else around."

Paulie shrugged. "The sexually active are an unusual animal."

"Yeah well, I think Brent feels bad about his friends making fun of me and stuff. He said we're gonna order pizza tonight and hang out. It'll be just like it used to be."

"Well, have fun. We sure do miss you around the V-Cave though."

After school Billy's brother drove him to their house, and things seemed promising until Billy realized he and Brent weren't exactly on the same page. Their was pizza. And hanging out. But it wasn't just the two of them. Why Brent ever thought a party with his asshole friends was any way to make anything up to Billy, he couldn't fathom.

Billy had let it evolve into yet another get together between them, retreating to his room. He tried to watch some videos with headphones, but as usual they were nearly impossible to block out.

"Billy?" His door crept open slowly.

"What?" He turned around in the computer chair, seeing his brother in the doorway.

"Don't you wanna hang out?"

"Not really… I mean, last time your friends were here…"

"They didn't mean anything. They just took it a little too far. They're fun. Are you sure… Oh, hang on. I'll be back, one second." Distracted by something Billy had no effort to care about, he closed the door again. Billy turned back around, going back to what he was doing. He did consider Brents words for a moment. It was entirley possible that a so-called "normal" teenage boy might not have been as upset over what happened as he was. But Brent was his brother. He should have stuck up for him.

A few minutes passed before Billy heard a knock at his bedroom door. "Come in." He called. Maybe Brent was ready for a real apology. Not likely. Billy didn't even turn around. He was chatting with Paulie through Facebook and was in the middle of typing a sentence. He heard the door click shut, but still Brent didn't speak. With a roll of his eyes, Billy finally spun around.

"What the hell do you want!?" He demanded. It wasn't Brent. It was Chase.

"I was just thinking about yesterday." He answered nonchalantly.

"Oh?" Billy raised an eyebrow at him, giving the other a judgemental look. "Why? Are you some kind of a pervert or something."

Chase chuckled. "Maybe I am." He rolled his eyes over the various possessions and collectables displayed in the teen's bedroom, as if he were making everyday conversation.

What? Billy didn't like that answer.

"What was your name again?"

"Billy…"

"Billy? Fuck, what a shit name. Anyways, I was gonna ask you something."

"Hurry up."

"Why'd you get an erection anyways?"

"What!? Go away. I'm not answering that!"

"Is it because you want to suck a dick?"

"Oh my God, stop. Get out."

"It's okay if you do."

"I really don't… Why are you asking me this? Do you want your dick sucked…?"

"Is that an offer?"

"God damn it, no! Leave me alone…"

"Look, I was just thinking. If you wanna try doing that… I mean, it does feel really good so… I would be willing to let you…"

"I'm not doing it." Billy insisted firmly, standing up and looking Chase in the eyes. "I can't believe you would even ask this. Leave. Me. Alone."

"Well you're the one who got hard over it."

"No." Billy shook his head.

Before Billy even realized he was moving, Chase had his arm around him, his other hand over his mouth. "Billy, please." He begged, whispering into his ear. His breath was hot, making Billy recoil. It reminded him of the other day. "Please, Billy. I need this. I know you'll like it. Just please, suck my dick."

Billy shook his head, glaring at the other. "Let go!" He demanded, his words muffled by the hand.

"No, no. I just need this. I just need this, fuck." He panted. He didn't care if his suspicions about Billy we're right or wrong. Chase knew Billy would never tell anybody anyways, so he didn't think twice about what he did next. He slammed the younger boy into the wall, sending a _Spice Girls_ poster crashing to the ground.

Billy pushed against his attackers shoulders, trying to push him off, but he was nowhere near strong enough. He tried instead digging his nails into his skin. He pushed as hard as he could, hoping it might make the other let him go.

_**Slap** _

A hand smacked him across the face. "Stop that!" He slapped him again, the other cheek this time. "Do what I tell you." He snarled. "Or I'll beat the shit out of you." He picked Billy up by the collar of his T-shirt and slammed his back into the wall yet again, this time so they saw eye to eye. Billy stared back with wide, blue eyes. He took loud, short breaths looking to Chase with fear, intimidation. He slowly nodded, bottom lip quivering. "Shit…" His attacker whispered. "I can't take it anymore! I need this, you little bitch."

"Why?" Billy whimpered. He got no reply. He just let go of Billy's shirt, letting him drop shakily to his feet. Without a word, he pushed down on Billy's shoulder blades, forcing him to the ground.

"Stay there." He ordered. Chase slid down his sweatpants and pulled out his cock. "Put it in your mouth." He said. Billy did nothing. A moment later, he looked up at Chase, distress painted on his face. "Hurry up."

"Please don't make me do this." Billy squeezed his eyes shut, dropping his head down. The smell, the sight. Everything was disgusting. He just wanted it to be over. He kept his eyes shut as if he could will the situation away. It didn't work. Chase grabbed him roughly by the hair, forcing his cock between his lips. Billy gagged.

"S-suck it.."

He could have bitten him, but he was terrified. What would he do to him if he hurt him? He could have cried out, but he didn't want anyone to see him like this. He wanted to die. He wanted none of this to be happening. It would stop if he just did what the guy wanted. It wasn't ideal, but it was his only idea.

He heard the ' _bling_ ' from his computer, indicating a new message, Oh God. If Paulie ever saw him like this… Oh God, Paulie. Why aren't you here to save me? No, no! He would never want Paulie to know this!

Reluctantly, he did as he was told. He had no idea what he was doing. It was clumsy and inexperienced. Chase didn't seem to mind, though. He panted, pushing Billy further down along the shaft. Billy tried his best to move his head back, but he wasn't quite strong enough. As he kept going, Chase rocked his hips. Each thrust became harder and harder until he was straight up fucking Billy's mouth. Billy gagged and coughed, having no defence against the pain this brought.

Eventually he came in Billy's mouth and pushed the boy away. Billy immediately spat it out onto the floor, sputtering, coughing, and wiping his mouth, trying desperately to get the filthy substance out. "Oh my God…" He sobbed out in disbelief. "Y-y-y-you're fucked…"

"Quiet down…" Chase hissed, straightening out his clothes. "You want someone to walk in and see you like this? On your hands and knees, with my cum all over your face?" Billy shook his head furiously.

  
"Didn't think so…" With a slam of his door, he was gone.

Billy jumped up and locked the door with a loud click. Frantically, he wiped his mouth several times with his hands. He couldn't stay here. He couldn't stay here. Chase was a lunatic. And worse, he did something he could never ever tell Brent about. He wonders if he did that on purpose…

' _bling_ '!

…..  
"Paulie?"

"Billy?" Paulie asked through the phone. "What happened to you?"

"Please come get me…"

"Are you okay? You sound like a wreck."

"Come get me."

"Yes, yes. I'll be right there. Don't worry, Billy. Stay right where you are."

"Paulie… Paulie?"

"What is it?"

"Come get me."

"I am, Billy. I'm coming right now. I'm coming for you, Billy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might make the next chapter from Paulie's perspective, but I'm not sure. What do you guys think?


	3. Paulie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short one this time. Sorry about that.

"I'm worried about him…" Paulie whispered to Stevie. They had picked Billy up about an hour ago and brought him back to Stevie's basement. The two of them at at the table while Billy used the downstairs bathroom just down the hall. "He seems very distressed."

"You think his brother did something to him?"

"I'm sure of it. I've never seen Billy like this before." He commented, thinking back to the ride over. "He's usually so full of life…"

"You mean throwing a hissy fit?" Stevie smirked.

"Yeah… Well, he has a _fiery_ personality…" Paulie attempted to justify, not exactly feeling like talking down on Billy while he was already low. "He looks up to his brother so much… I can't believe he would hurt him…"

"What? You think Brent beat him up or something?"

"Mmm, maybe… I think whatever it was hurt Billy emotionally. Like, a betrayal of trust or something? I'm just guessing though…"

After a few moments, he decided to check on his friend. Listening at the bathroom door, he could swear he heard the sound of throwing up. "Billy?" Paulie asked cautiously, opening the door. "Billy, are you okay?" He rushed over and put a hand on the others shoulder as Billy wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"I'm fine." He assured. "Just… A little sick…" He tried, his voice still sounding hours.

"Okay. I think you've been brushing your teeth long enough." Paulie told him, looking at his friends colourless face in the bathroom mirror. He gently took the brunette's toothbrush from his hand and placed it back in the holder.

"No… I need to get the taste out." Billy protested weakly, making no attempt to take back the tooth brush. His arms hanging limply by his sides.

Paulie frowned. He didn't respond to the comment, though his mind instantly jumped to a conclusion. As soon as he did though, he rationalized. That couldn't possibly be it. He was assuming the worst.

"You need to get some sleep, Billy. You've obviously been through a lot." He met his eyes in their reflection, hoping maybe Billy would use this time to tell him what happened. He didn't.

"I feel like garbage…" He clutched his stomach. His guts a bundle of nerves.

"Billy, you know, whatever happened, it wasn't your fault."

"I know that. I can't help how I feel, Paulie."

Hmm. Good Point.

"Well, tomorrow will be better. We'll all go to school together. You, me and Stevie." And no Brent…

Billy groaned at this, drawing his gaze down to the vomit in the sink.

"…Or, maybe we'll stay here." Paulie forced a smile, trying to cheer his friend up just even a little. He gave Billy what he hoped was an encouraging rub of the shoulder before turning on the hot water, trying to get rid of as much of the puke as he could at the moment.

"Thanks, Paulie." He let out with a sigh, leaning his head against the taller boy. Paulie wrapped his arms around Billy, feeling instinctually determined to protect his best friend and teammate.


	4. Ugh!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy goes back to school. Paulie thinks he figured things out.

"You don't have to keep your arm around me, Paulie." Billy groaned as they made their way up to the school doors. "I'm not a little kid."

His best friend removed his grip from around Billy's shoulder. "Sorry." He lisped. "Just trying to look out for you."

"I'll be fine." Billy forced a laugh. What a lie that was. And he knew it, too. But he didn't need Paulie and Stevie spending all of their time looking out for him and trying to protect him. Not that they could protect him from his own thoughts, anyways.

As much as he tried to keep that night out of his thoughts, as much as he wanted to push it from his collective brain space, it somehow kept creeping back in. Like later that day in class. There he was, sitting all alone at a desk, doodling with a purple gel pen as he listened to his social studies teacher. And then suddenly, he saw his face. That disgusting, smirking face. Right up to his own. He could feel his breathing on his neck. He could feel his hands on his body. He could still _taste him_.

Flipping the pen in his fingers, he drove the end into the tip of his thumb.

He hated that guy. Hated him. He hated himself… How could he have let that happen? He took down bullies all the time. How could he have not taken one, slimy, weasely little fuck? Ugh! The frustration seethed inside him. Running through his body, causing his arms to shake. But there was nothing he could do about it.

Lunch was a relief. He listened to Stevie's story about his group humiliating themselves during an oral presentation. Glad he wasn't saying anything related to… _that…._

"Hey Billy. You doing okay?" God dammit, Paulie….

Billy looked up to see Paulie looking back down at him with a supportive smile. He knew Paulie didn't mean anything… He didn't even know what happened… "Yeah." He responded.

"I'm glad to hear that." He held onto his orange plastic lunch tray above them. Eli close behind with a matching tray. Was it really necessary he drag his little boyfriend along with him today?

As the four of them ate, Billy continued to nod politely, and laugh every once in a while when a joke was made. All and all though, he was now rather disconnected from the company.

"Well, I've gotta get to practice." Eli shrugged, getting up from the table with a screech of his chair. "I'll see you at the game Friday, right?"

"Of course." Paulie smiled up at him, drawing attention to his oversized headgear. His braces glimmering under the fluorescent light.

"You're so cute…" He knelt down and planed a kiss on his boyfriends forehead before hurrying off.

Cute… That's just what Chase had called him. That bully. He should have gone Captain Copter on him… Why did he have to be such a pussy? He wasn't normally…. He wondered how Eli could be so nice while others on his team were such dicks. More then one of Eli's teammates had made the virgin squads official shit list. He wondered why he even wanted to be with Paulie… He was so popular… And Paulie was celibate. Nobodies that nice. Maybe Paulie was just the only gay guy Eli knew… But without sex what was even the point? He looked at Paulie. He wasn't a bad looking guy, but he was a massive nerd. Those braces weren't doing him any favours either…

"What's wrong?" Paulie must have noticed him staring.

"I was just wondering something."

"What?" A slight laugh.

"Mmm… Well… Eli, he's never… Done anything to you, has he…?"

"W-what do you mean?" He gave his friend a quizzical look.

"I just mean… He's never mean to you is he?"

"No! Of course not. Billy, just cause he's a jock doesn't mean…"

"No, I know. I just… I don't know. He's so popular, and you're a virgin… Like, your sure he's never tried to get you to… You know…"

"No. Never."

"Really? He's never, like… Tried to like. Put his penis in your mouth?"

"…What…?"

\-------  
Paulie was pretty sure he'd put two and two together. All those questions about Eli, _that_ was what happened to Billy. He tried to…. Ugh! His own brother! His own brother did that to him!?

Paulie chewed the inside of his cheek as he sprinted down the hall. It was infuriating. He was never letting Billy go back to that house again. That's when he spotted them. Brent and his friends, laughing by a stairway.

He couldn't contain himself. He marched right over to them, his head held high. "Hey!" They turned to look down at him. "I know what you guys did." He announced. "To Billy."

"What are you on about?"

"You know exactly what I'm on about, you perverts!" He glared at Brent, some spit shooting from his teeth as he spoke. "And if I ever see any of you near him again, you're gonna be sorry!"

A few just laughed. "He's my _brother_." Brent replied.

 _"I know_." Paulie shot back before turning on his heel, and marching away. 


End file.
